I Enjoy Her But Can’t Stand Her Young Children. Can This Relationship Survive?

Reader question:

We being together four years and I also thought her young children (25, 23, 20, 17) would “grow right up.” All of them have issues with ADD, guidance, poor manners, terrible levels and today drugs.

She says I do not need to be concerned and are perhaps not my personal problem. I understand there have been residential physical violence with three-out of this four young ones (they attacked her). I want to save yourself the girl, but she will continue to tell me she doesn’t have getting saved.

If you’d prefer anyone you may be with but can’t stand her young ones, can this union survive?

-Dave (Nyc)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Solution:

Dear Dave,

I’m not sure how exactly to break this for you, but these children are items of the girl. Although we all come into the entire world with a biological personality, great parenting can train certain bad qualities away.

It may sound like she doesn’t know how to post healthier borders and she’sn’t implemented mommy rule no. 1: Do your job well so you’re able to operate your self out of a job.

Now you would like to exchange attention along with her? Remember, an union is actually a trade of care. Assuming there’s physical violence, it sounds such as this family experience not one you need to tangle with.

I’d just take the woman advice. Do not you will need to save the girl.

Your alternatives tend to be: Have a compartmentalized relationship for which you have a bite and sex from time to time. Or blend your own lives and tell their you’re going to be ready to accomplish that when she reveals she will have boundaries together mature kids.

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